I believe in the importance of maintaining wellness through nutrition, exercise, and natural medicine, but one aspect that easily gets neglected is self reflection and self growth, especially in this fast paced world. Having a partner or a coach can be immeasurable in achieving goals, both professionally and personally, and I can attest to the power of someone gifted, as I've gotten guidance over the years from coaches to help better myself professionally and personally. I am so excited then to share with my Iyashi Wellness readers my good friend and Life and Relationship Coach, Anita Myers, of InnerScope Consulting. She has graciously shared her wonderful advice on how to Exhibit Your Value. What does that mean? Well, start reading.
Three Ways To Exhibit Your Value.
If you were a product in the business world, how would you be packaged? How would you advertise yourself? Where in the store would you be sold?
If someone bought you, would you deliver what was advertised about you? Or would people discover it was just a marketing gimmick? An As Seen On TV, impulse purchase that short-circuited or wore down upon arrival or shortly after use?
At the end of the day, were you worth their investment?
People make investments with us. They invest time (an underrated commodity), emotion, interest and care. They want to find benefit from you, and you have the power to provide them a 100% satisfaction guaranteed product through a conscious effort in communication, action, and reaction.
Take control in what you say. Your vocabulary contains enough valuable words to express your messages fairly easily, and respectfully. What you choose to say is key to building or breaking relationships. While our emotions love to take power of attorney in our decisions, staying logically grounded in who you are (a valued, kind and loving person) is critical. The strongest tree sinks its roots deeply into the ground, and while majority of thunderstorms and high winds might affect its leaves, twigs and branches, the tree remains standing solid as the storm passes. When encountering negative experiences, sink your valued roots into the Earth, stand strong in your kindness, represent yourself as the calm, sure and able person - and let storms pass you by.
Feel offended? Give yourself permission to do something better about it. Instead of letting matters brew until you reach a boiling point, either
1) choose to productively talk about it, asking them if they understood what they said, how it affected you, and work through the moment together, or
2) inform them of your need to disconnect from that experience and remove yourself from any further verbal attacks.
If you don’t like the food served, you simply don’t eat it or send it back. You can do the same thing for words. You don’t have to digest any bitter servings from unhappy people.
Messages are important and meaningful. They are just like food. You choose healthy food for a healthy body, and in the same way, you can choose healthy words for a healthy mind and heart. Take the time to find valuable messages that represent you best. If you love someone, tell them. Don’t expect them to just know. I hear too often how people wish they heard a genuine, “I love you” more from people they care about. Or words of gratitude. Or appreciation. They explain that their parents or loved ones just don’t work that way. It’s weird. It’s not their style. It’s not of their culture. If that’s the case, then find out their love language and translate it so you can communicate your appreciation to them in their way, and ask them to help and translate their love language to communicate effectively with you.
Actions speak louder than words, they say. It’s true. Actions either validate your message, your definition, and your purpose – or they don’t. Example…
Ever met people who preach religious expectations, then see them display actions that don’t reflect what they just shared so passionately?
Ever known or heard of people who promise fidelity, who swear they love us, who claim sister or brotherhood with us, then their actions break the verbal contract in emotionally lethal strikes through lying, cheating, betrayal, etc.? What messages are they sharing if their actions don’t equate their words?
Make your messages through action honorable and valued.
Answer the question, “How do I want people to remember me after they’ve met me?”
Then set the rules to enforce your answer through validating actions.
How you react is just as crucial as how you act within your social setting. Observation by your friends, family and coworkers is ongoing, and now more than ever with Facebook and Twitter. Reputations are developed based in part on how you’ve unconsciously trained them to think about you. Based on a study by Duke University’s assistant professor of psychology and behavioral science, Scott Huettel, we humans love hunting for patterns.
"We are set up to find patterns.... It allows us to extract regularity from the world."
Our pattern-finding habits can build positive understanding and camaraderie, but they can also fall into negative stereotyping and damaging assumptions. To keep ourselves in a valuable light, we can retrain our social community to view us better by taking onus on our reactions and representing the logical best of us, instead of our emotional worst.
Your better reaction lends opportunity a chance to rebuild a more positive and valuable personal world. And a more positive and valuable personal you.
Anita Myers is a professional and certified Life and Relationship coach, Inner-Wellness Consultant, and President of InnerScope Consulting. Her tailored Life Enrichment programs focus on the development and maximization of real joy for the human spirit while training the mind and heart to welcome success as the new standard. Her natural ability to blend with various personalities and embrace perspectives of different cultures and traditions empowers positive, result-oriented opportunities for clients who want to truly reach a higher summit in satisfaction. Her work exemplifies an investment that connects, builds and draws accomplishment and victories for every individual who is seeking what it takes to create a powerful, meaningful life.
Anita is the co-author of the upcoming relationship guidebook, The Dating GPS™, with childhood friend and Career Coach Alex Sukhoy.